My Impossible Christmas Wish List

If it were possible to have anything I wanted, this would be my Christmas wish list:

1. A full night's sleep. I envy all you people who get one. Don't take it for granted!
2. A clean house. I never seem to catch up.
3. Zero crickets--dead or alive--in my house.
4. Cooler weather. Just when I was enjoying the rain, it stopped. After one day. Now it's back to too warm. Not that I'm complaining too much, cuz I know some of you would trade places with me, but it's winter, for goodness' sake! I've gotten used to having white Christmases for the last three years.
5. The Ford to be permanently fixed. Selling it would bring in nothing. 

Diaper Dilemma

I need diaper advice from all you disposable-diaper users. I think Caden would sleep for longer periods during the night if it weren't for wet (cloth) diapers waking him up. He is so sensitive to wet diapers, no matter how padded, that he fusses in his sleep. It's so bad he has a bald spot in the back of his head from chafing it against the bed. And it wakes me up too. I change him to stop his fussing, and he wakes up. I nurse him back to sleep because it's easy for both of us, but it only makes him pee more and wake himself up trying to poop around 4 a.m. We have used disposable diapers at night before and had the same problem. What is a good diaper to use at night so that we all can get more sleep? Thanks, ladies!

The Tortoise and the Hare

I feel like the tortoise from "The Tortoise and the Hare"--I am way behind. I have three important things (hares) to blog about: the trip to Wisconsin for a wedding, Caden's baby blessing, and Thanksgiving. I never have time to do it because Caden only lets me blog in spurts. That's why I've been giving more time and attention to my other blogs instead--less work. Plus, I still have so many photos to upload to the computer, sort through, and post on Facebook. Both grandparents are getting impatient, and rightly so. Well, who knows when those things will get done. For now, I will just write about the little things while Caden is still napping. Just remember, the tortoise does eventually overtake the hare!

Yesterday, we finally put up the tree and decorations. It's not much, but it's nice. Caden really liked the Christmas lights. Caden, by the way, is getting bigger and cuter (is that possible?) every day. He tries to sit up more when I sit him on the couch. He has the strength but not the balance. He likes to suck his thumb when he takes a break from sucking his whole hand, sometimes both hands at once. He loves the songs "La Araña Pequeñita" ("The Eensy-Weensy Spider") and "If You're Happy and You Know It" (half in Spanish, half in English). He's getting better at tummy time and I think will start rolling over soon if we can get him to lie down long enough without crying.

I took him to the doctor a week ago because I thought he might be colicky: he would cry every day around 7 p.m. but only for an hour. The pediatrician checked him out to rule out other possibilities and decided it was colic or acid reflux. I think he does have some acid reflux, but I think I can rule out colic because the last few days he hasn't cried at his normal late evening hour. What was different? He got a long nap that day! I think when he doesn't sleep long enough during the day, he is extremely exhausted and cranky by evening, the time we start getting him ready for bed. He was trying to tell us he already wanted to be in bed and therefore cried until he finally fell asleep. I hope that's the end of that!

First Giveaway!

I started my own baby and giveaway blog and have the first one ready! Check it out: http://babygiveaways.blogspot.com/. Any feedback or giveaway ideas would be appreciated. Thanks!

For Little Scarlett

You tagged me, Cute One, so here are my answers:

Top 3 blogs
Although I never have time to read blogs anymore, I do enjoy all my friends' blogs. I don't follow any generic blogs, except to enter giveaways.

Any weird pet peeves?
I hate when people chew gum; I think it's gross and juvenile. It irks me when people use double superlatives ("most stupidest") or use apostrophes for plural nouns ("3 dog's" instead of "3 dogs").

One thing you would change about yourself and why
Being more disciplined, as in not procrastinating or being lazy and controlling my thoughts and actions. I would get a lot more good things done instead of wasting time on bad things.

Three things you love about yourself and why
1. I am compassionate: it makes me a caring friend and an understanding person.
2. I'm a fast learner: I've picked up many skills over the years (though all at a beginner/intermediate level).
3. I am genuine: my sincerity and honesty has gotten me a lot of opportunities and blessings, especially in the workplace.

If you could only eat one dish for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Rice! "It is the breakfast of champions. It is the lunch of champions. It is the dinner of champions." (A million points if you know who said that.)

I tag Francine, Mary, and Rachel--the only ones who I think will do it--though anyone else is welcome to respond.

My questions:
1. What do you fear most?
2. If you could have any animal as a pet, what would it be?
3. What do you like to do to make yourself happy when you're feeling down?
4. What is the most wonderful sound in the world? The worst? The funniest?
5. What is your most disgusting or annoying habit?

Much Needed Update about Me

Mommy has been too busy to blog about me, so I decided to just do it myself:

• From the moment I came out of the womb, the first thing people say about me--besides how undeniably cute I am, of course--is how alert I am. I am so curious to see everything there is to see in this world. I am afraid of missing something funny or important or interesting, which means I fight sleep a lot.

• I like the sound of the vacuum. In fact, I get fussy once it's turned off. I also like the sound of water running, the toilet flushing, and Mommy drying her hair.
• Sneezes scare me. Except my own.
• A few weeks ago I discovered my hands and have been sucking on them all the time ever since. This gives my parents' pinkies a break since I don't like pacifiers.

• I've also been really slobbery, and I like to blow spit bubbles.
• I am Muscles Baby: powerful legs (ever since the womb, Mommy says), great head control for my age (which started about a week after birth), strong abs (I'm already starting to sit up). I just have no desire to pump up my arms like Daddy's. During tummy time, I just lie there and suck on my fingers and then cry when I am done.
• I talk and coo a lot. Mommy likes to have conversations with me. I laugh at her interpretations of what I'm saying. She's not even close!
• I like to play copycat: I make noises and Mommy imitates them. It's so funny!
• I am getting so big. At my two-month appointment, I weighed 9 1/2 lbs. I'm probably 10 or more by now. You can tell by the little rolls on my thighs and knees and the chub on my arms and cheeks.
• I like watching the animals go round and round on my bouncer. I also like to chill in the swing our friends let me borrow.

• Since birth, my left sock has never stayed on. I somehow always kick it off. The right one eventually follows.
• I love bath time!
• Mommy says I look like a mouse when I eat because I put my hands by my nose and wiggle my fingers.
• Remember that post I wrote about all the names my parents call me? Well, now they just call me "Bugs," short for "Bugaboo." Interesting that Mommy calls what she loves most after something she hates most.

Mother Mode

Becoming a new mom brings with it a lot of changes affecting everything: the phsyical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. (Hence all the posts about motherhood. I have a lot of stuff to write about and feelings to sort out!). Here are some of them.

Physical

• My feet grew bigger and now half of my shoes don't fit. On the one hand, I get to go shoe shopping. On the other, I have no money for shoe shopping and I really like the shoes I can't wear anymore.
• When I was pregnant, I didn't remember what it was like having a normal body. Now I can't remember what it was like to be pregnant.
• Nor do I remember what it feels like to get a full night's rest. And I thought it was bad when I was pregnant!
• All the bending, lifting, and sitting has tweaked my back. I need to see a chiropractor.

Mental

• My perspective of things has altered. Stories, events, and other things now have new meaning for me. For example, one day I thought about when King Herod ordered all male babies to be killed after Jesus was born and I started bawling and hugging Caden. I also thought how crazy it was that Hitler was once a cute little baby, pure and innocent.
• On a similar note, the words to Primary songs affect me more as well. I sing to Caden a lot--and end up crying a lot. One time I sang some Mother's Day songs and teared up at the thought of Caden one day singing those songs to me.

Emotional

• I am torn between wanting Caden to stay a tiny newborn forever and wanting him to hurry up and grow so we can do more stuff together. I need to remember to cherish each day and all the happiness it brings.
• I now totally understand two things my friend told me about. First of all, I am amazed at the amount of patience I have with Caden. It's true I have more patience with him than with other children. I didn't understand that before because I thought it takes more patience to be kind to other kids since you can't discipline them or upset their parents. Wrong! I always remember Caden is just a baby and nothing he does is his fault.
• Second, I understand a mother's need for moral support. I used to go to my friend's house all the time and help her with housework. She would always tell me to relax. I couldn't. I felt like I had to be doing something to help her when all she wanted was my company so she wasn't alone. My being there gave her the moral support to get through the day. I understood this need quickly after taking Caden home and hated when Justin would leave me alone for a long time. It's not even that I needed his help with Caden. I just felt better knowing he was there in case I did need him. Now he is working again, but having had him home for so many weeks helped me prepare for that.
• Everyone talks about motherly instincts kicking in, but I feel like I am still figuring things out. My instinct to love and care for Caden is certain; everything else is not. I feel very frustrated when I do not know what Caden wants and can't console him, or when Justin is able to comfort him after my efforts didn't work (aren't kids supposed to want their mama?). Also, I am still very selfish. I foolishly thought it would miraculously go away by virtue of being a mom, but no. I am working on it though.
• Yesterday Caden showed me he wanted me and it made me happy. I got a pump because we are traveling a lot soon for my brother-in-law's wedding. I tried it out yesterday since we were having dinner with some out-of-town relatives. Caden took the bottle at first and drank most of it, but later would not take it again and cried until he fell asleep in the car on the way home. Once home I nursed him for a long time. Although this makes me nervous for the upcoming trip, I am secretly happy he prefers me to the bottle.

Spiritual

• The spiritual aspects are connected to all the above. I definitely feel my responsibility to raise my baby to be a righteous priesthood holder, and it is sometimes intimidating. However, I also feel most certain and prepared for this change over all the others, perhaps because the gospel is so certain and unchanging, unlike the rest.

What were/are/will be your feelings about becoming a mother?

What's in a Name?

My mommy says she and Daddy debated over my name the whole time I was in her tummy and even after I came out. What for? They never use my name anyway! Daddy calls me Bugaboo. Mommy has a whole assortment of names for me. Apparently she likes to make up nicknames for people. Her old college buddies were The Melanator, The Hollister, The Kelsifier, and Karalicious. I also have an aunt named Francini-weanie-beanie. Mommy's names for me include Little Bugger, Cadenators, Mommy's Babies (uh, Mom, there's only one of me!), Little Stinkers, Stinkerbug, Snuggly Saurus, and other random one timers. Her favorite: Stinky McStinkers. She even sings this silly song about stinky poop when she changes my diaper. It's to the tune of "Frosty the Snowman," sometimes to "Mr. Grinch." Maybe one day I'll learn the real lyrics to the songs.

You will in a few months. Besides, you are a stinker. As noted on Facebook, yesterday I changed your diaper 5 times in one hour! Granted, 4 of them were only wet, but still. One little tinkle and you start crying!

Well, do you like sitting in something wet?

Why doesn't poop bother you? You could sleep in it all day without a second thought, unless you peed too, of course. Or if you still have more to come out. Then you wait until I just put a fresh diaper on and pbbb! you finish.

Yeah, well, do you like using a dirty toilet, Mommy? Didn't think so.

Good point. At least you don't hate having your diaper changed anymore. Now you're calm.

True. When Daddy changes my diaper he says something about Free Willy. What does a movie about a whale have to do with anything?

Haha, don't worry about it. It's the reason why we think you're so calm.

Oh. Anyway, can I finish? This was supposed to be my post.

Excuse me.

When I'm having a crying fit--red face, wide-open mouth, pumping fists, kicking legs--she calls me Babyzilla and makes me stomp around. And Daddy mimics my cry when I cry to confuse me. Talk about adding insult to injury! (Yes, I already have great command of the English language. After all, I am my mother's son. Except, Mommy talks to me in a goofy baby voice, pluralizing everything and using incorrect grammar. First she insults my feelings, then my intelligence. But it makes her happy, so I'll amuse her.)

Thanks. [Rolls eyes]

Daddy likes to hold me up in the air and call me Super Baby. I think it's really fun! I feel like I'm flying, like I'm on top of the world, which at my size is a rare feeling.

Well, you may not be on top of the world, but the world does revolve around you! At least, our world does.

I know. [Sigh of satisfaction] And Grandma's, as much as it can being so far away. Grandpa says she's always asking about "my baby" or "Juju" (short for Junior). I can't wait to see her again!

Now back to my main point. Why did you name me Caden anyway?

Daddy and I looked at baby names ever since we were married. Our favorites changed over the years. Once you were in my tummy, and especially when we found out you were a boy, we got serious about it. One day we found the name "Caden," Gaelic (Irish) for "little battle." And let me tell ya, it fits! You are stubborn, feisty, and determined like your mama when you want to be (sometimes you're laid back like your dad). One day you will be a great leader and warrior for the Lord.

Thanks, Mommy! I love you!

I love you too, Stinky McStinkers.

Nap Time

 The progression of our nap a week and half ago:

Cuddled together on the couch.

Caden rolls into me because the cushion is slanted.

Dreaming about nursing? (Can't get the photo to upload correctly!)

I move him so he can breathe.

He cuddles up to me again. :0)

I love cuddling with my baby! (By the way, I am not faking sleep as some people think in all our sleeping photos. Justin took these.)

Best Deal Ever!

I'm doing cloth diapering with Caden to save money. I don't mind it, but Caden goes through so many diapers and covers a day I have to do laundry all the time! We were going to go back to the store to buy more supplies to lessen the load. I didn't want to spend so much money again, so I thought to look at other sources first. I checked out etsy since that's where I bought pail liners and wet bags. I could only find AIOs and frilly covers for disposable diapers; I needed plastic covers. I tried craigslist and found a lot of different options. I contacted some people and got no reply. I tried one last listing, the most expensive and extensive, that was posted over a month ago: my favorite diapers and other accessories all for $100. The items were still available. Score! The only drawback was that I had to purchase everything. It was a great deal, but finances are tight. I talked to Justin and we decided to go for it. I haggled the price down to $90. Here's what I got:

• 12 Kissaluv diapers: I love these so much! They are soft, don't easily stain, and fit perfectly.
• 3 Bummis covers: I don't like them. It seems as if no matter how much I layer, Caden's pee always leaks through. I've discovered that using a Bum Genius insert with a prefold works best because the insert soaks up a lot. But I only have so many!
• 3 Bum Genius covers, inserts, and doublers: Love these! As noted, the inserts and doublers hold a lot. I use the diapers as covers instead of pocket diapers so I can reuse them since Caden goes through the Bummis covers like nothing. I used one Bum Genius for a whole day!
• Pail liner: Don't really like it, but who cares when it's just holding poopy diapers?
• Wet bag: Larger than the two I already have, so that's good. And it's cute!

And the best part is that only 4 diapers were used (no stains); the rest are all brand new! Seriously, best deal ever! The wife spent over $300 on everything. Her husband (the seller) was not happy when she decided cloth diapering was not for her. And I got it all for less than I spent on 6 plastic covers, 2 diapers, and 3 Snappis--on sale! I am so proud of my bargain shopping skills, haha.

After Birth

Once Caden was put on my chest, we established breastfeeding right away. He did the breast crawl to my right breast and opened his mouth. He didn't latch on by himself, so I helped him. Breastfeeding was a struggle. It hurt really badly, even when he latched on correctly. We had help from nurses, my doulas, and the lactation consultant. I started using a nipple shield a couple days later and we've been using it since then. Weaning him off it has been difficult. He fights me (even with it on, but not as much) until he remembers to suck and realizes milk is coming out. He is as stubborn as his mama!

Anyway, the Saturday he was born I was so tired I slept all day. Not soundly, of course. It was impossible to get more than 2 hours at a time--if even that much--due to all the interruptions from my nurses, Caden's nurses, doctors, meal deliveries, housecleaning, other staff, visitors (my doulas and my awesome home teacher and his wife), and loud neighbors. The meals were gross: I started with a liquid-only diet and was sick of jello by the end of the day. Once I could eat solids, the meals were slightly better.

Life in the hospital was b-o-r-i-n-g. All I did was nap, feed Caden (Justin changed his diapers), watch TV, and read the Ensign. Once I could walk without too much pain, we pushed Caden's bassinet around the hallway. I was so happy when Monday came and we could go home! Until the pediatrician said that Caden lost too much weight (9 percent; 10 is bad) and would need to stay another night for observation. I was sad we couldn't go home and I was worried about Caden. I was officially discharged but allowed to stay. They gave me my various meds and looked at my scar. The doctor removed the bandage, and let me just say that I am never getting anything down there waxed because that was bad enough! It happened again at my two-week checkup. Ouch. At least I had disposable stitches and glue.

Monday night was a miracle. It was as if Caden knew he had to pass a test the next day. He ate all night, even once for two hours straight with only a burp and a diaper break! They weighed him in the morning and he had gained an ounce, clearance for us to go home. He is now over seven pounds.

My mom arrived that morning and came home with us. Happy day! She stayed for almost a week and cooked meals for us. There wasn't much else for her to do since neither Justin nor I are in school or are working and we have no other children, so she got to relax, which she needed. It was great just having her there for moral support (everything's better when Mom is there) and to hold Caden so I could sleep.

As for his name, Caden wasn't officially named until that Monday. We thought we would know right upon seeing him, but he looked like both options: Caden Arthur or Michael Keichi. The middle names are after Justin's grandpa, Arthur Keichi (Arthur is also Justin's middle name). We always planned to name the baby after his great-grandpa, and good thing we did: he was born on his great-grandpa's birthday! We didn't even know until we called Justin's parents. How funny. After getting to know the baby after a few days, we decided he was definitely a Caden. It still wasn't my favorite name, but I knew it was right for him. It has since grown on me. I love my little Caden Arthur!

Caden's Birth Story

Note: This is a very honest, personal, and detailed story, more for me than anyone else. I am not looking for sympathy or validation. If you want to comment, I would prefer your thoughts and feelings on your own birth story.

Consistent contractions began the night of Wednesday, August 25. I was excited. When Justin came home from mutual, we started timing them: they averaged 35 seconds long and came in waves of 5 minutes apart. Sleeping was uncomfortable and interrupted that night. The next day, my "due date," the contractions continued, lasting 45 seconds and coming slightly closer together. They were uncomfortable and strong but not painful. However, that evening they got worse.

I went to a mother's group, called Birth Circle, with my doula (Cherise) where couples shared their birth stories and we talked about birth advocacy. Then they did a bead ceremony for all the moms due within a month, including me. Each person added a bead to a necklace and said an encouraging word, such as peace. It was a very special ritual that I am grateful I got to be a part of.

By the time we left, I had much discomfort in my lower back and I was nervous. I knew that my birthing time was near. I called Justin to come home from church basketball and pick me up at Cherise's. I didn't want to wait for him alone at my house. He promptly came, and he and Cherise tried to make me comfortable until we decided what to do. Counterpressure wasn't working. I decided I wanted to go home with Justin, shower, and labor at home as long as possible. Little did I know how short that would be.

After a long, hot shower with Justin, we tried watching a movie (Oscar, because laughing eased the discomfort a bit), but I couldn't focus. I went to the bathroom and, in a huge gush of green, my water broke (at least I didn't have to clean up that mess!). The color slightly concerned me. I started involuntarily shaking really bad. We called Cherise and she advised us to go to the hospital. She thought I could be in the transition phase because of my bad shakes. I hoped she was right so the worst would be over soon.

We packed the last-minute items for our hospital bags and headed to the hospital. I listened to my Hypnobabies CD and fell asleep. Justin drove to the hospital in record time: 28 minutes (it usually takes us at least 40 without traffic); it was 1:30 a.m. Cherise got there just before us, so we all headed to the fourth floor together. It was weird seeing the hospital so quiet, dark, and empty.

A very tattooed (guy) nurse checked me in and got the midwife, one I had only seen once and whom I felt neutral about. I soon decided I didn't like her. An exam revealed I was 100 percent effaced but only 3 cm dilated. I was immediately strapped to the monitor. My home teacher arrived soon to help Justin give me a blessing. I then spent the first 8 hours laboring in that tiny examination room in the OB triage because the labor rooms were full. Luckily it had a shower, and I spent a little while in there. I was miserable. I was so stressed and upset that things weren't going as planned. I wasn't using my breathing and relaxation techniques, moaning and crying instead over the intense back pain. I hated being on the monitor; it was so uncomfortable on my upper tummy. Finally a room became available and ready at about 9 a.m., and we were moved.

The first thing I did was labor in the tub with Cherise and Justin keeping me company and a Hypnobabies CD playing. The warm water felt wonderful, and I immediately relaxed. My whole demeanor changed. I can do this, I thought. It won't be so bad. I stayed for a little over an hour and then went back to the bed for more monitoring. I spent the next hours walking around the hall, watching TV, trying to sleep, laboring in the tub again with Justin, listening to Hypnobabies CDs, eating and drinking, and changing positions to ease the contractions, which didn't work much, but I was breathing through them, a definite improvement. Justin and Cherise took turns sleeping, eating, and comforting me. Sometimes both were asleep (not on purpose), and I worked through contractions on my own. I felt very alone.

When we were moved, a new midwife was on duty, one I had seen 3 times and liked. She was very supportive of my birth plan and informative during my pregnancy. However, her character completely changed during my labor. I wasn't sure this was the same lady who had praised my birth choices and joked around with me just the week before. I understand she was worried because my water broke so early on and there was meconium in it, but still. Hospital policy required I be done within 24 hours of my water breaking, meaning they usually start interventions before that time is up. I refused. The midwife respected my decision, but condescendingly so. She and the nurses were not satisfied with the baby's readings. I felt very confused and pressured. Cherise stuck up for me as much as she could although she was disrespected. I didn't know what to do. Justin was worried because of the meconium (his older sister suffered severely because of that), so I didn't want to hold out too long but I also really wanted to trust my body and stick to my plans. I didn't want to let all the negativity and alarm affect me, yet I could tell it was already piercing my Bubble of Peace (a Hypnobabies term for keeping out anything contrary to the birth plan) and wearing me down. I wanted to prove to everyone, and especially myself, that I could do this.

At about 7:30 p.m. I was examined again and told I was a tight 4 cm, my baby had descended to -1 already, and his head was molded. The midwife also said he was sunny side up, the reason for the painful back labor. Why didn't she tell me that at our last appointment so that I could have done something? She wanted to start me on Pitocin to speed things up because my contractions were "inadequate." This news did not make me happy at all. I told her to give me 2 hours to try nipple stimulation and then we would talk again. Justin did the technique while we watched "Reba," one of my favorite shows, to pass the time. My contractions definitely intensified, giving me hope. When the time was up, I was checked again: a "good 4."

What?! After all day Thursday and nearly 24 hours in the hospital and that's all the progress I had made? I agreed to the Pitocin but no catheter to measure the contractions. I only made it to 3 ml before the back pain was too much to bear. I went back to the tub, with just Justin, for about half an hour. We discussed our options and I caved in. I didn't want to continue with Pitocin because (1) I didn't want pain medication and didn't think I could withstand it otherwise, (2) I knew it would probably lead to other interventions, and (3) I didn't want our baby exposed to more interventions. I decided to go with a C-section, since choosing any other hospital route would probably end in that anyway. I didn't want to go home because I wasn't comfortable with that and knew Justin wasn't, and I didn't think I could endure natural labor anymore.

We called in the midwife and told her our decision. She said it was ok and would call in the necessary people. She said it might not be right away since we had to wait for them. I didn't know how much longer I could last! Luckily, everyone arrived quickly and we got things underway. If anything, I was holding everyone up because I spaced out during contractions. They prepped me for the surgery, and Justin and Cherise got in scrubs. Surprisingly, I wasn't afraid of the operation at all; I was very relieved. The local anesthesia injection didn't hurt, though it was hard not to arch my back. Once my body was numb I was in heaven. I couldn't feel a thing (except my tummy moving, as if the baby were wiggling around), and it felt great. I admit I felt a little guilty for enjoying it. It was over faster than I expected. After 28 hours of laboring in the hospital (29 since my water broke), Caden was born 5:40 a.m. Saturday, August 28.

Justin cut the cord and held Caden after his vitals were taken. (Because of the last-minute C-section decision, we forgot about our baby plan, like letting the cord pulse out.) He held the baby near my face, but it was hard to get a good look at him upside-down. All I knew was that he was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen and I wanted to hold him right away. Of course I had to wait until I was all stitched up and wheeled to a recovery room. The moment they placed him in my arms was wonderful. I couldn't believe he was finally out of my body and in my arms! I couldn't believe I had a baby, that I had made him, that I had protected him inside me for nine months and would now protect him outside of me. I couldn't (and still can't) get over how incredibly cute he is!

In the crucial time when Justin and I were debating what to do, I felt good about the decision to have a C-section. But I felt like a failure too. I had prepared physically and mentally for a natural childbirth. Part of the Hypnobabies philosophy is that thoughts become reality (similar to The Secret), so I focused only on the positive. However, I guess 10 weeks wasn't enough to reprogram my mind from 10+ years of thinking I was going to have a C-section because my mother did four times.

I know it doesn't matter how I gave birth. Sometimes I feel silly having these thoughts and emotions. Yet I feel cheated. I wanted the experience of a vaginal birth. I wanted Justin to catch the baby and immediately place him on my chest. I wanted to say that I did it. I am a little ashamed and embarrassed to share my birth story, especially with those who knew my birth plans and subtley (and maybe unknowingly) mocked them and with those who had pain-free childbirths, even with back labor. Hearing my friends' birth stories and satisfaction makes me cry. Reflecting on my own experience makes me cry. I'm trying to come to terms with it and just be grateful my baby and I are healthy. Disappointment is a hard thing to conquer.

I haven't decided yet if I want to go with a C-section or VBAC next time. A C-section would be nice because it's fast and painless and I don't mind the scar. But the thought of being cut open again--although I don't feel it--and the recovery are not appealing. A VBAC would be ideal, but I'm scared of failing again.

Often I wonder what ifs: What if I had done my pelvic rocks daily--would the baby have been in the right position, preventing the back labor? Or would I have given up even without it? What if I had decided to continue natural childbirth? Would I have succeeded or would I still have needed interventions? What if I had started practicing Hypnobabies earlier and with more dedication? What if . . . ?

Snip Snip

Caden was circumcised yesterday. He did really well. I was a mess beforehand, crying in anticipation of what was to come. I wasn't sure I would be able to stay in the room, not because of the procedure (I actually wanted to see how it was done), but because it would hurt me to see my baby wail in pain. At his last appointment, I got teary-eyed because Caden cried when the pediatrician stuck the thermometer in his bum. Once the doctor talked to us about what would happen and how Caden would react, I felt better about it and decided to stay. There were two students helping the doctor and learning how to do circumcisions. One of them gave Caden sugar water on a pacifier, which he took with no problem but would not take later for us, and the other assisted with the surgery (ok, that did make me a little nervous, but the doctor did almost all of it). I really liked the doctor: she was quick, skillful, caring, and informative. Caden did great! He only fussed a little when they numbed the area and did something else later, but he didn't cry. I was so proud of him. He's my brave little baby! Daddy, on the other hand, was a little queasy afterward. Haha.

Postpartum Life

Although I planned for a natural childbirth, I had a C-section (separate post about the birth story coming).
The first few days were hard because it was painful to move. I always slept in an upright position, I had to have help getting in and out of bed, and I walked really slow. Walking returned to normal quickly, but too much walking hurts my tummy. A few days ago I was finally able to sleep on my back or side, get in and out of bed by myself, and bend over. Usually my stomach is nothing more than sore, but sometimes I get sharp pains. The incision is healing nicely and is barely visible. My recovery overall has been a lot easier and quicker than I expected.

My tummy size is slowly going down, but I still look pregnant. In fact, the other day a cashier asked me how far along I was. Lucky for her I just had a baby and I wasn't just fat! The reality is I have less than 10 lbs. to lose to get back to my normal weight. My highest pregnancy weight was 143, though my last weigh-in was at 142 (less swelling). My belly button looks like a crater now, a lot deeper than it used to be. I went all nine months without a single stretch mark on my stomach! The only ones I have are small, light ones on the sides of my thighs. I still have that long, dark line running down my tummy, though.

The swelling in my feet and ankles is gone; however, I still cannot wear my wedding and CTR rings. The acne has disappeared too, thank goodness! I've gained cleavage and a cup and band size. Breastfeeding has taken over my life. We're still struggling, but each day there's progress. I started using a nipple shield in the hospital and am now trying to wean Caden off of it. I love watching him nurse: he either looks all around suspiciously, as if someone were going to steal his milk; has a grouchy face; or closes his eyes. He sucks really hard and loud--causing him to take frequent breaks to catch his breath--and sometimes chomps, though not nearly as much as he did his first few days of life. He burps a lot and loudly and likes to poop while eating. I love when he puts his little hands on my chest and falls asleep on me.

I definitely have baby blues. My hormones are crazy. I wake up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat, but get cold when the air conditioning kicks in. I cry easily and I am overwhelmed with the constant nursing and interrupted sleep. Despite the frustrations, I love being a mom and I love my baby with all my heart. Who wouldn't love a cuddly cutie like Caden?

All about Baby

My name is Caden Arthur. I thought I would introduce myself to the world. I was born Saturday, August 28, at 5:40 a.m. I weighed 6 lbs. 8.8 oz. and measured 19 in. long. Most important, I am the most beautiful baby ever! At least that's what Mommy's always telling me. I have Mommy's chin, ears, and mouth, and Daddy's cheeks, bow legs, and nose. My toes, eyes, and eyebrows are hybrids. My cheeks are round and soft, and Mama is always kissing them. I have no bum, but boy, does it rumble loud and big like my daddy's! And I burp loud and big like my mama. I also sneeze violently and multiple times like she does and I get the hiccups often.

I am so alert and curious; the world is an interesting place. I hate having my diaper changed and being sponge bathed and swaddled. I like my hair being washed and being sung or whistled to. My daddy's chest is super cuddly and I fall asleep there. My mama's chest I like to chomp on, and Mama gets mad at me, but not for long because I'm too cute. I like to nurse on my left side no matter which side of Mama I'm on. She calls me her little football. Sometimes she tries to give me a pacifier, but I prefer her pinky.

I may be skinny but I am very strong. I can already hold my head up on my own for a few seconds. I like to play with my face. I smile and laugh in my sleep. No, it's not gas! I'm not always rumbly (ok, I am). I am very peaceful when I sleep. I like to sleep with my arms up, behind my head, or beside my face. Although lately I have been fussy (maybe something Mommy ate or gas?), I'm usually not that way. On my good days and nights, I sleep for three or four hours between feedings, which makes Mama happy.

I can't believe I've been on this earth for over a week already! Check out more cute photos of me on Facebook.

Last Bit before Baby

August 14 was my baby shower in AZ, hosted by my friend Cherise. We decorated with a cute Noah's ark theme because we got all the stuff on clearance at my work (Party City). It was a small party with ladies from church. We had a diaper-changing race with different types of cloth diapers, a trivia quiz (which I won thanks to some questions being used for Jeopardy at my shower in CA), gifts (a lot of monkey stuff), and a quiz Justin filled out whose answers I had to guess. Photos are on Facebook. After the shower, Justin and I went to the temple for the last time before Caden got here and did sealings.

My last day of work was the 6th. My managers gave me gifts and a little Tinkerbell cake and tried in vain to convince me to stay. I admit I was sad to leave right when Halloween season was starting, but I do not regret my decision to quit for good. I did consider staying one more week, and I am so glad I did not because I would not have lasted another day!

We have been blessed so much these last few months. Justin was laid off for the summer, and I only worked part-time, so we survived doing more research studies. Justin's parents found us a second car in WI for a great deal (we looked in AZ as well) and drove it down here. It's a white 2003 Pontiac Grand Am. The air conditioning works and the windows are tinted. So happy! The only thing I don't like about it is the small trunk since it is the car we will be using for outings with Baby and road trips.

Other blessings: getting the crib and dresser on sale at IKEA, finding a baby bathtub on freecycle, finally buying an affordable futon frame from craigslist, getting a free car seat (jungle themed, no less) from the hospital and a free bookcase from a neighbor, inheriting free carpet from a friend who moved, and finding a jungle-themed crib bumper at the thrift store for $2.50. The Lord (and my Grandma) is watching over us.

In other news, my family is finally leaving San Marcos and moving to Lake Elsinore. Justin was called to be the Scoutmaster and 2nd counselor in the YM presidency. His brother is getting married in October. Wasn't expecting that! Typical Mormon story: met in the singles ward, dated less than two months before proposing, getting married two months later. I am a little apprehensive about traveling--both on a plane and on the road--with an infant. Any advice?

Third Anniversary

July 20 was our third anniversary. I can't believe it's only been three years! So much has happened in those three years that it feels longer. I admit the first two years were very difficult, and we both made many mistakes. But this last year has been wonderful, and our love has definitely grown stronger.

Like our birthdays, our anniversary was pretty low key because we are so excited about and preoccupied with the baby. To celebrate we first went to the Mesa Temple Visitors' Center and watched Legacy. Totally cheesy but cute. Afterward we went bowling. Usually we play two games and each win one. We played three (they gave us a coupon for a free game), and I lost all of them! Justin got a million strikes. So not fair.

Next was dinner at the Macaroni Grill, where Justin proposed to me, and dessert at The Cheesecake Factory. I had really yummy lemon and raspberry cheesecake. We then wanted to watch a movie, but all the times were really late so we just went home and watched half a movie, I think. It was a good day. It was our last year of just the two of us. I am excited for this next year with the baby!

Almost There!

I am now in the final countdown for Baby. Less than 3 weeks to go (though really it could be 1, 2, 3, 4, or 5). Here's what's been happening:

• For the past couple months I've had terrible acne on my face and chest. 
• I've already leaked colostrum (pre-milk) a couple times, much to Justin's amusement and my embarrassment, though thankfully we were at home both times it happened. 
• My belly button is sticking out more. It looks like a volcano, not a true outie.
• My feet and ankles have been incredibly swollen ever since Sunday, July 25. None of my shoes fit anymore, so I have to wear flip flops everywhere, which doesn't help the swelling. 
• I'm mostly all baby, but my thighs have chubbed up a lot. 
• Baby dropped Sunday, August 1.
• For the past month I took yoga classes and did a couple step aerobics classes and gym and swim workouts. 
• The past week or so has been terrible for sleeping. I toss and turn all night.  
• I was handling the heat well until July hit, and it was a record-high month of crazy temperatures, as reflected in our latest electric bill.

I never thought I'd be the type to feel like I was done being pregnant, but I feel that way now! In fact, yesterday I had three meltdowns. For the most part, during my pregnancy my emotions weren't any crazier than normal until the last month. Then yesterday it hit hard: I didn't like the lunch I ordered and cried; I felt negatively about my body and cried; I was hungry and didn't know what I wanted and cried. All of this within four hours. Poor Justin was a complete sweetheart.

Baby moves around a ton. It almost feels like he's trying to kick and stretch his way out. Poor thing is probably cramped in there. One night I threatened to spank him if he didn't move away from his favorite spot by my bruised ribs, and he promptly responded with a hard kick! It made me and Justin laugh.

Our childbirth classes have been going great. We only have two left--one lecture day and one party day. As for my birthing method, I've been doing Hypnobabies, a type of hypnobirthing (self-hypnosis). It's about positive thinking, visualization, relaxation, and deep, slow breathing. No negativity, fear, or pain allowed. I really love it and recommend it to all mothers who fear giving birth, whether because it's their first time or they've had previous traumatic births. It's all about empowerment!

Why I've Been MIA

A couple months ago our laptop cord, which we had purchased only three months prior, stopped working. We tried exchanging it at Wal-mart, but they no longer carried it and told us to contact the manufacturer. I did and discovered the cord was recalled. We sent it in a month ago and still have not received a replacement. I contacted them again, and they said they sent a new cord out a few weeks ago and asked me to confirm the address. We'll see what happens next.

Not having a working computer at home has been a trial and a blessing. On the down side, we have to go to the campus computer lab to pay bills, check our email accounts, and do other important things, and I am way behind on my blogging. However, I have gotten a lot of things done at home that needed to be done in preparation for Baby and I (hopefully) have broken the habit of being glued to the laptop and checking my email and reading blogs 500 times a day. I have realized I can survive without the Internet, although it is very frustrating to not have it when I really do need it!

Hiccup!

32 weeks; belly button popped!

Last night I woke up around 2:30 to use the bathroom, and I felt some weird jerky movements from Baby. I realized he was hiccuping, and it made me laugh! I woke up Justin to feel it, but Baby soon stopped, so he didn't feel much. That was the first time I have ever felt Baby hiccup. It's really funny!

Patriotic Party Weekend

July 3rd we went to the Mesa Celebration of Freedom with my high school friends Francine and Oscar, who were visiting, and our church friends the Slades. First we got really yummy icees at Bahama Bucks. At the festival we looked at cars and an art gallery and ate while watching the fireworks. Unfortunately, everything else, including the rock band, was still going on during the fireworks.

July 4th we went to the lake next to ASU in Tempe at night to watch their fireworks show with the Slades. It was longer and a lot better than the Mesa one. But honestly, nothing beats the San Marcos (my hometown) fireworks show. The whole atmosphere is amazing: everything closes down, the lights are turned off, everyone sits down to watch, patriotic music plays, and the show lasts 30 min. We got to go last year, and I miss it.

July 5th we went to the Gentrys' place for a BBQ and played on the Wii: bowling, tennis, dancing, and boxing. Of course, the dancing one is the funniest! We had such a good time. Check out the videos and photos on Facebook.

First Childbirth Class

Last night we had a private childbirth class (the other couples couldn't make it) with my doula and her doula friend. They were awesome! They just covered health and nutrition for this first class, but it was a really fun and lively lecture/conversation. Even Justin enjoyed it.

For my pregnant ladies: get a doula if you don't already have one! Doulas are birthing coaches who are all about you. They educate you about and prepare you for birth, support you and your husband during birth, help out after birth, and do whatever else you need them to do. They have no hidden agendas; their purpose is to serve you however they can to ensure you, your husband, and your baby have a wonderful, positive birthing experience.

Perspective

After writing my first post today ("I'm Back!"), I remembered a similar photo I posted on Facebook:

I remember feeling huge back then (23 weeks), and look at me now! I can't really tell the difference until I look at pictures of myself. I can't even imagine what I will look like--and feel like--near the end!

Justin's First Father's Day

Although the baby is not born yet, I consider Justin and I parents already. So this year's Daddy Day was extra special. For breakfast I made French toast. I made Justin wear a ribbon to church that said "Dad to Be." He wouldn't wear it until after he passed the sacrament, though. After church he opened his gifts: double-stuf Oreos for him and Packers bibs for the baby (Justin is a huge cheesehead, if you didn't know). The rest of the day we napped, played card games, watched Sunday movies, and enjoyed a nice dinner of oven-fried chicken and oven-roasted red potatoes, one of his favorite meals. Next year will be even better because Baby will get to give Daddy his gifts!

Justin's Birthday

Justin turned 25 on June 11. We saw The Karate Kid that morning. It was awesome! Way better than the original. Afterward, we had lunch at Famous Dave's, a BBQ place Justin has wanted to eat at ever since he saw it featured on the Food Network. Needless to say, he enjoyed it. And we got a free sundae to share. Their customer service was great.

Next we hit up the arcade at a family fun center. Justin played the video games (I only did one car racing one with him and lost), and we both played the kiddie games (shooting hoops, ski ball, etc.). We got bored fast so we decided to play miniature golf too, something we have not done ever since we moved here. We used to play it all the time! We tied, and I got quite a few holes in one, even with my big belly in the way. Yeah, Justin has taught me some pretty sweet putting skills over the years, so now I'm actually a challenge--not at real golf, though.

After running a couple errands, we went home and ordered Papa John's pizza, Justin's favorite. We didn't have candles, so he just blew out a lighter. We finished the night by watching--I can't remember! Oh, well.

On Sunday, we got together with our friends the Sants for German chocolate cake (they had a candle) and Apples to Apples. We had a really fun time. We are all so goofy! I love it.

For more photos, click here.

I'm Back!

My long absence is the result of our laptop battery dying. At least, we think that's the problem. The cord is new, but when plugged in, the laptop won't recharge. Grrrr. We still need to get it fixed; I'm at the campus computer lab right now. I have so much to write about! First of all, work is going well. I only work 2-4 days a week for 4 or 5 hours, so it's not bad at all. Just my feet hurt afterward.

I am now 31 weeks along. Single digits left before Baby comes! And still so much to do, the biggest being picking a car seat and stroller. Any suggestions of what's good and bad?

For my childbirth classes, I am doing Hypnobabies (a type of hypnobirthing), because it best suits my needs: learning to relax, thinking positively, and letting go of fear. It teaches you self-hypnosis and deep relaxation to eliminate discomfort and let your body take over giving birth. The philosophy is your birth is what you make it. I will also be taking a course with Justin by my doula, covering generic childbirth information.

About 29 weeks

My tummy is definitely bigger and my belly button is about to pop out. My appetite hasn't changed much, but every few weeks it increases a lot for a few days. I'm guessing that's when Baby has growth spurts. He is so active and strong; I'm bruised under my ribs on the right side. My weight hasn't changed due to that stomach bug, but I feel bigger! I've packed some pounds in my thighs, and they have some light stretch marks on the sides. None on my tummy though.

Everything is going well and I'm happy and excited. And overwhelmed a little due to procrastination and how fast this pregnancy is going by. I cannot wait to see and hold my baby!

Emergency Room Again

Warning: This post is a little graphic.

Saturday I was kinda feeling icky, but I contributed it to the heat. That night we had a fun time at a friend's house playing Just Dance on the Wii and went to bed late. At about four in the morning, I woke up feeling terribly sick. I ran to the bathroom and started heaving. Justin woke up to my vomiting, which went on for hours. It was worse than any morning sickness. The pressure was so bad I involuntarily peed on myself and the bathroom floor while throwing up (I'd rather clean up urine than vomit, though!). At eight Sunday morning, the diarrhea came. Not fun when both happens at the same time. Finallly I had a little break where I thought I could make it to the hospital across from campus (no way I'd make it all the way to Phoenix to my regular hospital). It's such a small hospital I got admitted to the ER right away and was hooked up to an IV for 6 1/2 hours. I didn't really need to be there that long, but I think they forgot about me sometimes or it was really busy or something. Anyway, I was still throwing up, so they tried a different medicine which worked better and gave me a tiny, diluted dosage of morphine to ease the cramps.

They don't have an OB/GYN there, but they did an ultrasound to make sure the baby was alright. He is. He was very active during the whole ordeal--probably in protest to my intense abdominal activity--which made things a little more uncomfortable. The doctor concluded I had a stomach bug going around and put me on a strict liquid-only diet for 24 hours and gave me strict rules on easing back to regular eating. When I finally could keep down water, they let me go. We went straight to Wal-mart to get my nausea prescription filled (the hospital only has a pharmacy for admitted patients). At home I developed a low-grade fever, though my temperature was normal while at the hospital. Tylenol and a cool cloth lowered it in a few hours. I slept most of the evening and a lot that night. Monday my friend took me to her house to care for me since Justin worked all day. Tuesday I went back to work, but I still feel yucky. I haven't thrown up or had diarrhea since Sunday, but my tummy is still weak. I've been eating a lot of jello! And to make matters worse, my allergies are going crazy again! Runny nose, sore throat, sneezing, and no sleep last night. Ugh.

p.s. I spent Saturday cleaning my kitchen, with a bleach-based product no less, and what do I find in my sink when I come home Monday evening? Yep, a giant bug! Luckily Justin was home. But now I have to clean my kitchen all over again! Grrrr!

Baby Prep 101

For Family Home Evening last night (we had friends over for dinner on Monday), we learned some baby skills: putting on a cloth diaper and swaddling. At first, Justin was grossed out by my old teddy bear. But once it became the baby, he went into daddy mode, and it was so cute! He talked to it and treated it as if it really were our baby. I just had to take photos!

Swaddling the baby

Putting on a cloth diaper

Me: "Stop making funny faces."

Justin: "But that's how I'm going to look when I change his diaper!"

Me: "It's a clean diaper!"

Helping Baby be reverent during the closing prayer

Then this morning, I found Justin lying on the couch, and I put the teddy bear on him, thinking how much I can't wait to see him hold our little baby. Justin confessed he fell asleep holding it earlier when he first moved to the couch. I had him reenact it:

Watching golf together

Isn't he going to be a great daddy?

Let Me Explain

I know the title of my last post probably got some of you wondering what was the big deal. I HATE bugs with a passion. Always have, always will. Some are just a nuisance, others are plain gross, and even others are scary. The bug I faced this morning was all three.

When we first moved here, it took me forever just to kill a cricket. I used to trap them and then have Justin kill them when he got home. The first time I had to kill one, I freaked out, called Justin, and cried hysterically because it was ginormous and wouldn't get sucked up the vacuum (old, handheld one). Then I progressed to calmly smashing them with a shoe and letting Justin clean them up (I don't like to touch them even when they're dead).

The king of all bugs (I even hate to say its name) has appeared in our house a few times. Luckily, when I come across one, it's either already dead or Justin is home to rescue me. This morning it finally happened: the faceoff between me and said bug--alone. Naturally, I freaked out even worse than during the cricket experience. Like, someone-died or I-saw-Frankenstein kind of hysterical. I called Justin up and bawled my eyes out. I trapped the huge bug under a small trash can after a frightening chase, while screaming into poor Justin's ear. Justin was super understanding and supportive during the whole ordeal. It took me like an hour and several more phone calls from Justin to finally calm down. The bug stayed there until about an hour ago, when Justin was able to take care of it.

I know I sound ridiculous and crazy and wimpy. But just imagine facing your worst fear alone for the first time!

Angry with God

Why, oh why, did Heavenly Father create bugs? Opposition in all things, right? Well, I can't think of any good things about certain bugs. They should DIE!!!!!

(If you're wondering where this came from, I just had a massive mental and emotional breakdown facing a certain insect alone in my home.)

Birthday

I turned 23 yesterday. This year was the first time I wasn't super excited and planning ahead for my birthday. The reason? More excited about the baby and planning for his birthday! But I still figured something out last minute and the day was great.

We started out by going to the temple. It was wonderful of course. Afterward, we chilled at home, playing Rummy and eating shaved ice (the day before we found a Smart & Final in Scottsdale and bought a huge carton of syrup--Tiger's Blood, what I grew up on). Then my friend Cherise took me shopping. No luck at Ross, but at Burlington Coat Factory I found a pink maternity shirt for $5 and a cute jungle-themed frame set for Baby's first handprint and footprint. Thanks, Cherise!

Justin made me a delicious dinner. I wanted something new, so I chose his aunt's manicotti he's always raving about. It was really good! He also surprised me by renting Monsters vs. Aliens, which I've been wanting to see again. And I got a leg massage. It was a good birthday. The only bad thing was I forgot to take photos!

p.s. Justin washed the dishes this morning! What a good hubby!

27 Weeks

Yesterday was my doctor appointment--not quite what I expected! I had to have more lab work done; wasn't excited about that thanks to previous experiences. The midwife saw me first and found the baby's heartbeat. And the baby kicked the instrument so hard the doctor felt it! She said he is really strong for his age and obviously doesn't like his space invaded. I've noticed that whenever we've gotten ultrasounds, though that was the first time he protested our hearing his heartbeat. He has been moving around so much lately. I even saw my tummy move last night! Sometimes it's a little painful when he kicks hard. Like earlier today, he made me gasp and double over because I wasn't expecting it. I think he's going to be stubborn like his mama and obnoxious like his daddy.

After the appointment, I went fearfully to the lab. I had more blood drawn--painlessly! This phlebotomist was way better than the last. She was fast and didn't have to squeeze the blood out of me. I had to take the glucola test again (yuck). When my results were ready, more blood, then back to the clinic to get my Rhogam shot. I have O- blood, and Justin is positive, which means our baby might be positive. The shot is to prevent my body from attacking the baby. I have to have another one after birth.

So far I've gained 18 lbs. total. Everyone tells me I look so small, but my uterus growth and weight gain are right on target. The midwife said I hide it well, and my clothes do too. But I've still got time for my tummy to grow more. Only one trimester to go!

Baby Bassinet

We bought a baby bassinet last night! I was really bored yesterday and decided to browse craigslist for bassinets. I found a few I liked, read some reviews, and contacted the sellers. I set up an appointment for that night to take a look at one of them since the seller had no detailed info on it for me to look up reviews. I asked a lot of questions and had the lady show me how to use it properly. We liked it and decided to buy it. Saved us the hassle of going to see the other ones farther away and it was the cheapest: $30. It was originally $35, but she couldn't break two twenties. She then asked for $20, but I felt bad, so we pulled together a couple fives from our wallets. She also included a few sheets for free.

I think it's really cute. Not as fancy as the others, but from what I've read, most of the extra perks never get used and babies grow out of bassinets quickly (good reason to buy a used one--save money and get a nearly new item). Also, it's gender neutral; the others were a bit girly or boyish. Just need to clean everything and then we'll rearrange our bedroom! I can't believe the baby will be here in just three months (hopefully not sooner)!

San Diego Trip

From Thursday to Tuesday I went home to good old San Diego. The weather was cool, but divine for me. I miss it already. As usual, I didn't get to go to the beach. I think I'm forever cursed.

Mostly I hung out while Mom pampered me, though I did help her with chores. I got to see and spend time with all my family in spurts (no big gathering like I thought even though I planned my trip around Dad's and my niece's birthday). I went to a Relief Society breakfast activity, I saw my dad's band play, and we celebrated my dad's birthday with an ice cream cake. And it was nice to attend classes at church instead of roam the halls for two hours.

The big event was my baby shower on Saturday. My friends Francine and Kristen arranged it all. The turnout was better than I expected, though many left early before the fun began. We mingled and munched for the first hour, then played the game where a card is taped to your back with the name of something baby related and you have to guess what it is. I was a burp cloth. Next was presents, and then everyone guessed my belly size with ribbon. Genesis, my 5-year-old niece, was exactly right (measuring 36 in.), with Kaitlyn in a close second. Afterward, was the funniest game of all: putting together the baby's face out of Justin's and my facial features cut out from pictures. We ended with Jeopardy, the categories being baby trivia, baby animals, nursery rhymes, and Justin (his answers to certain questions). I hung out with my friends for a few more hours, and Francine and Kristen even felt the baby kick a little. (He was pretty quiet during my whole stay there. It took several tries before my mom felt him.)

It was great seeing friends I had not seen in years and being with my best friends again. I felt so loved! I'm glad I went home. I especially miss my mom. As I did when she was here, I slept great while there. Now I'm back to tossing and turning and waking up every couple hours.

Baby shower pictures

Family pictures